A Quick Story Re: Some Unexpected Cheek Bumps

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In the summer of 2022, I was the recipient of a cheek pimple. This came as a surprise to me because I had never had a cheek pimple before. As a teenager, I’d had some regular acne on my forehead, but that went away with age. As an adult, of course I got the occasional face friend here or there, on the chin or on the nose, from hormones or stress, but nothing substantial. And never — I mean NEVER — on the cheek.

Initially, I wasn’t concerned. I figured it was an anomaly, a fluke, a one-off reaction my body was having. Fine, I said. Do what you need to do, body — rid the toxins that the influencers are always yelling about! I surrendered to the minor cheek pimple and let it live its best and fullest life. I was a little more insecure than I wanted to be for my Friday night out, but oh well. It was the cheek pimple’s time to shine, not mine.

But then it invited its friend.

Where once there was none, now there were two. In the same area, at the same time. Ok, I thought, not a problem. A second, repeat fluke. Like when the Mets win back to back games, I’m told. It’s gotta be stress or the changing weather or the cycle of the moon or you know what — when I got these, I was in Atlantic City, where I drank and smoked and gambled and ate food from New Jersey. It’s New Jersey’s fault! My skin was purging the New Jersey…