How to Spend Your Time Waiting in Line

I am waiting in line and I love it here.

It isn’t because the small child in front of me just dropped his sucker which is a promising intro to an exciting potential meltdown. It’s also not because the guy behind me is chatting in Arabic on speakerphone which is a fun, albeit loud, puzzle for me to try and solve. These supporting characters are definitely contributing to my enthusiasm but sadly they are not the reason for my love.

I love waiting in line because the line is a place of possibility, don’t you see? In this line, we have time.

We have been given the gift of time and it’s all thanks to this line! If you think I am being sarcastic, I am not. I love being forced to wait. I really actually do! And don’t even roll your eyes at me ok because I’m not being annoying. This isn’t going to be about how you should cherish every moment of your life. For your information I believe that there are many moments that are not to be cherished! 9/11! The Titanic sinking! My fiancé saying I “stack the dishes wrong”! All objectively uncherishable moments, thanks!

Waiting in line is a good thing, full stop, and yes I do plan to die on this hill. If you disagree, it’s because you’ve been brainwashed into thinking that you are important and have places to be. You aren’t and you don’t! No one is important and no one…